Grattitude
Good morning all!
It's been over a week since I posted last. I promise I won't go without making two or more posts a week often. My mother is visiting from out of state and I rarely get to see her. Having her here has been so motivating and we've been showing her all sorts of places from the, Pacific Science Center in Seattle to the Ape Caves lava tubes in Southern Washington. I've had my mother participate in my cardio classes as well. I have been enjoying every minute of her being here and it makes me think of how integral social interaction is in helping people with illnesses and disabilities.
When I was in the wheelchair in 2012, I had little to no friends; especially nearby, and though most of my family lived between two to three hours away, none of them came to visit or help me. My husband was gone for the better part of two weeks a month, 10 months a year and I had three kids (one being a toddler). I couldn't drive and despite copious amounts of pain relieving narcotics, I had to home school my two older boys because my eldest has high functioning Autism and for years schools wouldn't help him. So, I'm drugged up in a wheelchair home schooling two kids, caring for a toddler, trapped in the lower half of my house because I can't drive or go upstairs to shower, all while my husband was gone working for days at a time and none of my family drove the two to three hours to help us. My mother flew from New York and my best friend flew over from West Virginia to help us. Crazy right!?! Super people! The one local person to help us was a young man named LaDarious, who was in his early 20's. I'd started training him in boxing before I landed in the wheelchair. He became our family and helped to take care of us while my husband was gone. He even got us outside, made me wheel myself around the neighborhood with my toddler on my lap, and my other two boys got to run and get their exercise.
There have been a few years between my wheelchair days of 2012 and my diagnosis of Lupus in 2016. I had moved from Southern California to Washington and enjoyed an incredibly active lifestyle with my family before Lupus knocked me down. Fortunately, this time I had no expectations regarding receiving help or engaging in much social interaction when I went down because of my experience in the wheelchair. I was pleasantly surprised this time. No, not all people check up on me, but I have quite a few who do, and those are the people who really matter in the end.
People often don't have any idea how important they are to others and more often than not, no one tells them so they have no way of knowing. I've been a cardio instructor at my gym for four years and I don't know what I'd do without this job and my cardio ladies and gentleman. I have never told them how important they are to me and how just showing up has impacted my life as a Lupus fighter. People who are sick end up spending a lot of time indoors. I spend a lot of time at home on my couch because I'm so fatigued, have high fevers, an infection, or due to pain. But, every Saturday morning, unless I'm too sick, even if I'm feeling like crap, I instruct my cardio class. I dread waking up early, getting up out of bed, getting in the van, working out, until, I see the faces walking in and everything changes. When my cardio ladies and gentleman walk in ready for class smiling, my whole world changes and I'm not sick anymore. I'm happy and excited to keep going. There would be weeks where the only day I left the house was for Saturday morning cardio.
When I first got sick, we were all trying to figure out what was wrong, including my cardio class. They didn't know why it was taking me longer to tell them what we're doing in the middle of class and neither did I at first. There'd be longer pauses in the middle of working out because I'd try to say things but couldn't get the words out. I'd forget what I was doing and completely space with everyone looking at me waiting for me to come to. Many people would leave and go somewhere else where they could get a workout and I did end up with a complaint or two but my regulars stayed. Not everyone knew I was sick and I didn't know enough of what was going on yet to explain what was happening to me. I actually lost the ability to drive for months because of CNS issues associated with Lupus.
When I understood enough to explain that I have Lupus and how it negatively impacts my ability to concentrate, remember, and speak, everyone not only understood, they were supportive and happy to help me when I can't articulate what I want them to do. Now, when I can't say something, I point at my head, describe the exercise, and they'll yell out various exercises until they get the correct word. I point at them, repeat the word and we continue with the workout. What an incredible feeling and privilege it is to have such a wonderful group of people come to see you every week. But, they'll never know what they've done for me until they read this blog, and guess what? Most of them will. How cool is that?
See, you never know how important you are to others just by being you, and you may never know, but that doesn't mean it isn't so. Further, being sick and disabled is a lonely business. If you know or are acquainted with someone with a disease or disability, I promise, it'll mean the world to them if you check in once in a while. I never asked for help from people because I was embarrassed and honestly I thought that more family would be there to help but they didn't. Being sick or injured is alienating and when you can't get out, people forget because of life, fear of facing the fact that a friend is sick, there are so many reasons but having no one causes depression which can lead to suicide, death via the inability to thrive, and let me tell you, the worse you get, the worse you're treated by society. I was treated horribly by doctors, strangers, and family the worse I got, especially when I was in the wheelchair.
Reach out to those who are sick and disabled. Social interaction can be the difference between laying in bed and getting out into the world. If you're sick and /or disabled, people don't always know you need help and they don't always know how to offer, so don't be too proud to ask. You'd be surprised how many people are genuinely willing to be there.
We have to get ready to go fishing. I promise more comedy next time. Till then, have a great day everyone!! :)
It's been over a week since I posted last. I promise I won't go without making two or more posts a week often. My mother is visiting from out of state and I rarely get to see her. Having her here has been so motivating and we've been showing her all sorts of places from the, Pacific Science Center in Seattle to the Ape Caves lava tubes in Southern Washington. I've had my mother participate in my cardio classes as well. I have been enjoying every minute of her being here and it makes me think of how integral social interaction is in helping people with illnesses and disabilities.
When I was in the wheelchair in 2012, I had little to no friends; especially nearby, and though most of my family lived between two to three hours away, none of them came to visit or help me. My husband was gone for the better part of two weeks a month, 10 months a year and I had three kids (one being a toddler). I couldn't drive and despite copious amounts of pain relieving narcotics, I had to home school my two older boys because my eldest has high functioning Autism and for years schools wouldn't help him. So, I'm drugged up in a wheelchair home schooling two kids, caring for a toddler, trapped in the lower half of my house because I can't drive or go upstairs to shower, all while my husband was gone working for days at a time and none of my family drove the two to three hours to help us. My mother flew from New York and my best friend flew over from West Virginia to help us. Crazy right!?! Super people! The one local person to help us was a young man named LaDarious, who was in his early 20's. I'd started training him in boxing before I landed in the wheelchair. He became our family and helped to take care of us while my husband was gone. He even got us outside, made me wheel myself around the neighborhood with my toddler on my lap, and my other two boys got to run and get their exercise.
There have been a few years between my wheelchair days of 2012 and my diagnosis of Lupus in 2016. I had moved from Southern California to Washington and enjoyed an incredibly active lifestyle with my family before Lupus knocked me down. Fortunately, this time I had no expectations regarding receiving help or engaging in much social interaction when I went down because of my experience in the wheelchair. I was pleasantly surprised this time. No, not all people check up on me, but I have quite a few who do, and those are the people who really matter in the end.
People often don't have any idea how important they are to others and more often than not, no one tells them so they have no way of knowing. I've been a cardio instructor at my gym for four years and I don't know what I'd do without this job and my cardio ladies and gentleman. I have never told them how important they are to me and how just showing up has impacted my life as a Lupus fighter. People who are sick end up spending a lot of time indoors. I spend a lot of time at home on my couch because I'm so fatigued, have high fevers, an infection, or due to pain. But, every Saturday morning, unless I'm too sick, even if I'm feeling like crap, I instruct my cardio class. I dread waking up early, getting up out of bed, getting in the van, working out, until, I see the faces walking in and everything changes. When my cardio ladies and gentleman walk in ready for class smiling, my whole world changes and I'm not sick anymore. I'm happy and excited to keep going. There would be weeks where the only day I left the house was for Saturday morning cardio.
When I first got sick, we were all trying to figure out what was wrong, including my cardio class. They didn't know why it was taking me longer to tell them what we're doing in the middle of class and neither did I at first. There'd be longer pauses in the middle of working out because I'd try to say things but couldn't get the words out. I'd forget what I was doing and completely space with everyone looking at me waiting for me to come to. Many people would leave and go somewhere else where they could get a workout and I did end up with a complaint or two but my regulars stayed. Not everyone knew I was sick and I didn't know enough of what was going on yet to explain what was happening to me. I actually lost the ability to drive for months because of CNS issues associated with Lupus.
When I understood enough to explain that I have Lupus and how it negatively impacts my ability to concentrate, remember, and speak, everyone not only understood, they were supportive and happy to help me when I can't articulate what I want them to do. Now, when I can't say something, I point at my head, describe the exercise, and they'll yell out various exercises until they get the correct word. I point at them, repeat the word and we continue with the workout. What an incredible feeling and privilege it is to have such a wonderful group of people come to see you every week. But, they'll never know what they've done for me until they read this blog, and guess what? Most of them will. How cool is that?
See, you never know how important you are to others just by being you, and you may never know, but that doesn't mean it isn't so. Further, being sick and disabled is a lonely business. If you know or are acquainted with someone with a disease or disability, I promise, it'll mean the world to them if you check in once in a while. I never asked for help from people because I was embarrassed and honestly I thought that more family would be there to help but they didn't. Being sick or injured is alienating and when you can't get out, people forget because of life, fear of facing the fact that a friend is sick, there are so many reasons but having no one causes depression which can lead to suicide, death via the inability to thrive, and let me tell you, the worse you get, the worse you're treated by society. I was treated horribly by doctors, strangers, and family the worse I got, especially when I was in the wheelchair.
Reach out to those who are sick and disabled. Social interaction can be the difference between laying in bed and getting out into the world. If you're sick and /or disabled, people don't always know you need help and they don't always know how to offer, so don't be too proud to ask. You'd be surprised how many people are genuinely willing to be there.
We have to get ready to go fishing. I promise more comedy next time. Till then, have a great day everyone!! :)
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