Drunk Walk Level "Blackout"

Hello everyone! Well, I’m couch bound for the rest of the day. I may require the help of my boys to get upstairs to the bedroom because my drunk walk has reached level blackout. I look like your average daytime Russian alcoholic. The kind even they  have interventions for. The imbalance is so bad I’m bending backwards and walking backwards like I’m 125 pounds, it’s my bachelorette party, and I will out drink that sailor because I bet him $5.00 I could! I had to pick my son up some guitar and violin strings and then I had to hit the grocery store for a couple things. It was rough. I lost myself in the store multiple times and had to figure out what I was doing. On the way home, less than an hour of my last Zofran dose (anti-nausea med), I had to pull over to throw up what little fluids I had in me, on the freeway. My 14-year-old held his head out of the window while reaching his arm across the car gingerly patting my back trying so hard not do blow chunks himself.

All I could think about was having a poor patrolman pull over behind me, see me puking, and start puking on the side of the road while I’m puking. Then, I’d picture my son finally losing it out the window and I’ve watched The Goonies way too much. Needless to say, I need to “acquire” some more elephant condoms, like, tomorrow but I don’t know that I can drive anywhere. I’m actually submitting a request to see if I qualify for a Dial-A-Ride program. I’d take the bus but if I don’t write it down right now I’ll end up in Oregon somewhere. I’m 36 and looking into Dial-A-Ride because of Lupus. Note to self, early dentures, and Dial-A-Ride in the rear future… ask if they at least kept some Quaaludes from Woodstock on the way to the store. Perhaps purchase a cane for my dizzy spells (drunk walking) and decorate it with Rainbow Brite, Strawberry Shortcake, Xenomorph and Deadpool stickers. Wear sparkly shoes, a pink fanny pack and my 45 in my paddle holster on my yoga pants because if that’s where I’m gonna be, I’m wearing what I want, damn the judgment. Who needs to be burdened by holding a purse when you can have both hands free with a pretty pink unicorn fanny pack?

I have reached rapper fashion level wearing my sunglasses inside. Only, I’m not trying to look cool. I just already do. Hahaha! I am a nerd through and through. The computer and lights hurt my eyes but I don't want my boys to have to pay for it. Also, my future is super bright too so there's that.
Yep, that's food in my hand. In good rapper fashion, in order to eat and stop the nausea, I had to go "green". FYI though, I cannot rap...Just throwing that out there. Not even a little. I can however, stutter when I forget words so that's precious. I haven't had more than a meal and a half a day since last Wednesday; especially without marijuana. But, weight loss is weight loss and I'm still where I was before. So, YAY for absolutely nothing! lol! I get my blood tests done tomorrow to see if my thyroid is being attacked though. If it is, that explains so much. Well all, have a great night. These boys have school tomorrow and must to get to bed.

Peace!

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