Bringing Sexy Brain
Good evening everyone!!! I hope everyone is doing well. I meant to write all week but the migraines have been for real lately and I was out of migraine meds for a while. I made a mistake and went to another marijuana dispensary and told them what I needed but they gave me something else because not all strains are the same and the dispensaries don’t all buy from the same growers. Also, they didn’t have a strain as strong as I needed so I’m not getting the relief I would be getting otherwise. I'll never go anywhere but 420 on Carpenter in Lacey, WA again. To make it more fun, when I picked up my migraine meds the pharmacist was concerned at my usage of Butal. It's the only thing letting me live and parent...somewhat. It's better than nothing and being high all the time. I can drive on it and I get about two to six hours of relief but it's always temporary and I end up requiring more. Until I can get to the neurologist, this is my life.
My brain MRI looked great. It’s far more photogenic than the rest of me and it looks like everything is ok. In other words, my brain needs no Photoshop, try to hold back the jealousy Kardashians, and it's like, runway ready. When my doctor told me it was normal, I was so agitated because I want answers. We know we have Lupus but there are so many issues we can have either in conjunction with or because of this disease it feels like you’re always looking for answers to legitimize your symptoms and when you can’t, you feel crazy. Why? Because of the looks, the judgement, and the lack of answers. But here’s the thing, not all neurological issues are detectible through an MRI and not everything shows right away.
My eldest son has High functioning autism. They never needed a brain scan for his diagnosis. His doctor talked to him, observed him and made a diagnosis based on that. Autism is a neurological disorder and they needed nothing but talking and some observation to decide that’s what he has. Why am I killing myself trying to find more answers? Well, I have reasons. People believe you when there’s a diagnosis and consider you less crazy when your symptoms are given a name by a doctor. We can be treated by disease specific medication, but, we may not always get there and screw those people. I’m being treated for my symptoms and Lupus and if that’s what I can get right now, I’m ok with that.
I met my therapist on Tuesday. She is AWESOME!!! Trolling therapists isn’t all bad. I mean, you have to find someone who you can take seriously enough to talk to and who can understand what you’re going through. She appreciates my using comedy, my openness, and my love for older horror films. Our weirdness vibes in a great way and thank God because I’ll break inexperienced and/or pretentious therapists, or I’ll end up giving free lessons to someone who has no clue as my insurance pays them for their learning session. Yep…been there. Seriously though, been there. We were talking about Wes Craven, serial killers in movies (Hannibal Lector’s interesting character, cannibals, and female serial killer’s general killing methods), and so on. Nothing strange. HAHAHA!
We also talked about religion, parenting a special needs child, and Lupus. One of the things I told her, I feel this way completely and hope others can look at things from this perspective, is that every crappy thing, symptom, whatever, that happens to me gives me the opportunity to empathize with more people. I understand what it truly means to hurt from sound with these vestibular migraines. My son is audio sensitive and while I knew he was, I never fully understood what that felt like until now. It hurts, but it’s also precious. It sucks, but precious.
So my Raiders kids are on point for putting up an awesome rope bridge next Saturday and I am so excited. We have a couple things to perfect but my kiddos have this and I am so proud of them. They’re enjoying this too which makes me happy. I had the honor of helping one of my lady friends prep for her fight this weekend. She didn’t win but she’s my age, somewhere between 35-37 and had to drop 15 pounds of water weight on the day she fought against a young girl in, I’d say, her early 20’s. My friend was winning. She was straight up kicking ass, but something happened and she couldn’t finish. I cannot imagine how difficult that was for her but I’m so proud. Had she not had to ditch so much weight so fast or at least weighted in the day before the fight like normal, she would’ve likely won, I think.
I also got to help one of my young teammates warm up for his first fight. I was so honored to be able to be there to help him warm up and prepare for his fight before walking out there. FYI, he won in the first round via knock out by head kick. It was beautiful! Today though, I’m tired. My head hurts like it does every day. I’m tired and not doing much of anything today. Hours of yelling and excitement yesterday renders me unable to do much the next day. I'm catching up on my Grace and Frankie because I'm not caught up yet. We got to a vibrator and had to switch to Teen Titans in an attempt to prevent questions from the 7-year-old. I'm not trying to ruin his childhood.
Yesterday was my dogs’ 9th birthday. My Great Dane is 9 now and still runs up and down the stairs like she’s a puppy. It’s phenomenal. My German Shephard is 9+ but we don't know her birthday because she was a rescue and she's showing signs of arthritis. She’s mostly finds going up and down the stairs in the house. It’s the five stairs up the deck to come inside after she barks that takes her five minutes to get up like she's your average sullen teenager walking toward the table for homework or toward the vacuum to do chores, or like she’s walking to her execution. She loves it outside. She loves watching through the fence and barking at the deer she can see out the window at two in the morning. She's a German Shepherd. She loves to bark and eat. It's their favorite thing ever and coming inside means no barking at the neighbors, leaves moving in the wind, or at absolutely nothing. She comes in willingly but it takes longer for her to come in than it takes for the VA to actually help people.
The Dane on the other hand feels that outside is the bathroom and demands the couch or a bed to lay on. No. Not a dog bed. She’s business class. It’s the real thing or she’s up in your face wanting a pillow top and brie. Yeah, she won’t eat regular cheese or processed lunch meat. She’s Mariah Carey level diva. But, she’s a Mamma’s girl and she LOVES her kiddos.
My brain MRI looked great. It’s far more photogenic than the rest of me and it looks like everything is ok. In other words, my brain needs no Photoshop, try to hold back the jealousy Kardashians, and it's like, runway ready. When my doctor told me it was normal, I was so agitated because I want answers. We know we have Lupus but there are so many issues we can have either in conjunction with or because of this disease it feels like you’re always looking for answers to legitimize your symptoms and when you can’t, you feel crazy. Why? Because of the looks, the judgement, and the lack of answers. But here’s the thing, not all neurological issues are detectible through an MRI and not everything shows right away.
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| Eat your heart out super models! |
My eldest son has High functioning autism. They never needed a brain scan for his diagnosis. His doctor talked to him, observed him and made a diagnosis based on that. Autism is a neurological disorder and they needed nothing but talking and some observation to decide that’s what he has. Why am I killing myself trying to find more answers? Well, I have reasons. People believe you when there’s a diagnosis and consider you less crazy when your symptoms are given a name by a doctor. We can be treated by disease specific medication, but, we may not always get there and screw those people. I’m being treated for my symptoms and Lupus and if that’s what I can get right now, I’m ok with that.
I met my therapist on Tuesday. She is AWESOME!!! Trolling therapists isn’t all bad. I mean, you have to find someone who you can take seriously enough to talk to and who can understand what you’re going through. She appreciates my using comedy, my openness, and my love for older horror films. Our weirdness vibes in a great way and thank God because I’ll break inexperienced and/or pretentious therapists, or I’ll end up giving free lessons to someone who has no clue as my insurance pays them for their learning session. Yep…been there. Seriously though, been there. We were talking about Wes Craven, serial killers in movies (Hannibal Lector’s interesting character, cannibals, and female serial killer’s general killing methods), and so on. Nothing strange. HAHAHA!
We also talked about religion, parenting a special needs child, and Lupus. One of the things I told her, I feel this way completely and hope others can look at things from this perspective, is that every crappy thing, symptom, whatever, that happens to me gives me the opportunity to empathize with more people. I understand what it truly means to hurt from sound with these vestibular migraines. My son is audio sensitive and while I knew he was, I never fully understood what that felt like until now. It hurts, but it’s also precious. It sucks, but precious.
So my Raiders kids are on point for putting up an awesome rope bridge next Saturday and I am so excited. We have a couple things to perfect but my kiddos have this and I am so proud of them. They’re enjoying this too which makes me happy. I had the honor of helping one of my lady friends prep for her fight this weekend. She didn’t win but she’s my age, somewhere between 35-37 and had to drop 15 pounds of water weight on the day she fought against a young girl in, I’d say, her early 20’s. My friend was winning. She was straight up kicking ass, but something happened and she couldn’t finish. I cannot imagine how difficult that was for her but I’m so proud. Had she not had to ditch so much weight so fast or at least weighted in the day before the fight like normal, she would’ve likely won, I think.
https://www.facebook.com/100009974715735/videos/539101973098955/
Yesterday was my dogs’ 9th birthday. My Great Dane is 9 now and still runs up and down the stairs like she’s a puppy. It’s phenomenal. My German Shephard is 9+ but we don't know her birthday because she was a rescue and she's showing signs of arthritis. She’s mostly finds going up and down the stairs in the house. It’s the five stairs up the deck to come inside after she barks that takes her five minutes to get up like she's your average sullen teenager walking toward the table for homework or toward the vacuum to do chores, or like she’s walking to her execution. She loves it outside. She loves watching through the fence and barking at the deer she can see out the window at two in the morning. She's a German Shepherd. She loves to bark and eat. It's their favorite thing ever and coming inside means no barking at the neighbors, leaves moving in the wind, or at absolutely nothing. She comes in willingly but it takes longer for her to come in than it takes for the VA to actually help people.
The Dane on the other hand feels that outside is the bathroom and demands the couch or a bed to lay on. No. Not a dog bed. She’s business class. It’s the real thing or she’s up in your face wanting a pillow top and brie. Yeah, she won’t eat regular cheese or processed lunch meat. She’s Mariah Carey level diva. But, she’s a Mamma’s girl and she LOVES her kiddos.
Well guys, I have to watch movies with my youngest son. He's tired, cranky, and needs mommy cuddles. Have a great night!
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